Name: Ben Steel, CEO | Address: PO Box 8874 Portland, OR 97207

Phone: (503) 946-8792 | Email: ben@cuckoldrelationship.com

 

Information, Advice, and Coaching

The Cuckold, the Stag, and the Hotwife Husband

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Cuckold Husband vs Stag vs Hotwife Husband

What’s in a name?

Consider the following phrase:

“After some extended CBT, the stag enjoyed a creampie for dinner served by his hotwife and her bull.”

If that left you scratching your head in total confusion, you’re not alone. It’s written in code…well, sort of. To understand the cuckold, we have to become familiar with his lingo.

Every special interest (sexual or otherwise) has its own unique language – a set of terms, acronyms, and abbreviations that only make sense to the “insiders.”

It’s no different with cuckolding, except that many of the cuck husbands disagree on which of the terms to use.

Oh, and just in case you wanted a translation of our opening quote, here you go:

“After some extended CBT (cock-and-ball torture), the stag (a man who enjoys watching his wife have sex with other men) enjoyed a creampie (consuming the ejaculate of another man out of his wife’s vagina) for dinner served by his hotwife (a married woman who has sex with other men with her husband’s full knowledge) and her bull (the additional partner she is having sex with).”

A Stag, a Cuckold, and a Hotwife Husband Walk Into a Bar…..

And here begins the fierce debate over who has the best title…and you get to be the judge.

In reality, all three terms refer to the same thing – an attached male who gets sexually excited by the idea of his partner having sex with other men.

So why 3 terms, then?

Because science likes to categorize everything and place it in the appropriate box – even when that model doesn’t work overly well.

The different terms exist to differentiate one from the other and to point out some subtle, and not so subtle, differences.

three-terms-for-cuckold-husband

The Cuckold

For instance, Dr. David Ley, in his book “Insatiable Wives” tells us that the term “cuckold” originally referred to a man who whose wife had sex with other men without his knowledge or consent.

The term “cuckold” was not a compliment. In fact, it was meant to be a very emasculating term and most cuckolds throughout history have been the object of ridicule, scorn, and even punishment.

It didn’t pay to be a cuckold husband in antiquity.

Just below, you can see a typical punishment for a man found to be a cuckold.

He would ride “skimmington,” or backwards on a horse through the center of town, as he was beaten with household items by the townspeople.

cuckold-riding-skimmigton
Cuckold riding "skimmington" through town

Today, many people also use the term “cuckold” to reference men who enjoy humiliation and degradation in addition to watching their wives.  Men who choose the term “stag” or “hotwife husband” often do so because they want to differentiate themselves as someone who does NOT like humiliation.

That being said, the term cuckold is currently the most common and most popular one in use, and most of the men who use the term, do so independently of any interest in humiliation.

In fact, it has even become a popular insult today. Check out Joe Rogan discussing the term “cuckold” being used as an insult today….

So the term cuckold certainly has its disadvantages, but for better or worse, it’s the primary term used by most men who consider themselves a “cuckold husband.”

The Stag

Another term that has come into prominence for referring to men who love wifesharing is that of the “stag.”

There are several pieces addressing the supposed difference between a cuckold husband and a stag, including this one from tumblr, although I personally feel it misses the mark a bit.

People who prefer the term “stag” often do so to avoid the historically acquired baggage attached to the term “cuckold.”

They insist that a cuckold is someone who is deceived by their cheating wife, while a stag is someone who knows it and enjoys it.

Additionally, stags often prefer to the term to let people know that they are not fans of humiliation.

The term “stag” also gives the man a label that is not dependent on his wife, such as that of “hotwife husband.”

The term stag is actually a reference to the mating habits of male deer.  When a deer challenges another for the right to mate with his female, the loser will surrender his mate to the more dominant male.  This is also why the stag’s horns feature as a prominent reference to cuckolds.

the-stag-as-cuckold-husband
The term “bull” references the mating habits of stags, who fight each other for supremacy

The Hotwife Husband

Just as the term “stag” is used as an alternative to the term “cuckold,” so too is the term “hotwife husband.”

A hotwife is the name given to a female who has sex with other men, but with her husband’s full knowledge and consent.

The hotwife husband is essentially a “stag” but prefers a term that labels his fantasy in reference to his wife. This term is also selected for the same reason that the term stag is used – to avoid the negative associations that the public has with the word “cuckold.”

In fact, the term “hotwifing” is often used to designate wifesharing without humiliation while cuckolding designates wifesharing with humiliation.

cuckolding-vs-hotwifingAlso, there is some overlap between cuckolding and female-dominated relationships (FemDom).

A Cuckold By Any Other Name….

Whether you’re partial to the term cuckold husband, stag, or hotwife husband, they all essentially refer to the same thing with some minor differences depending on who you ask.

The use of one term over another is largely a matter of preference, which is as it should be.

The only thing that really matters is this:

Which term do you prefer to designate a cuckold husband?

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